Jackie is a certified speech-language pathologist and owner of Ascend Speech Therapy, LLC in Baltimore, Maryland. Jackie has been working with individuals with Autism for over 10 years, and has been practicing in the field of speech therapy for 5 years. She provides home-based speech-language services for children in the Baltimore area.

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We have all heard of the “terrible twos”, but what do we do when our two-year old’s behavior seems to exceed what we were warned about by all of our friends and family? Between 18 months and 2 years of age, we typically see a noticeable shift in our children’s language. They are using around 50 words, begin to put 2 words together, understand more directions, and they are starting to navigate the world more independently; but what happens when that development isn’t happening as quickly as expected? 

Our kiddos are exposed to an exciting world where everyone around them can efficiently and effectively communicate their intent and feelings. Those around them understand the code and can use it effortlessly to achieve what they want, or express how they feel. For our little ones, it can be incredibly frustrating to not be “in the know.” Though tantrums and behavior problems can be present regardless of language difficulties, when a language delay or disorder is present, behavior difficulties are oftentimes not far behind. 

Imagine walking through your day with an unfamiliar language as the native tongue. People all around you are conversing, having their needs met, and happily moving through their day. When you make your attempt, you are misunderstood. You do not have access to what you want, you do not have a way to correct the misunderstanding, and you do not understand the flood of language coming from your communication partner, who is trying their best to help. They are speaking to you in sentences and asking you questions in a language you have not yet learned. Day in and day out, you repeat the experience… how are you feeling? Likely like you want to throw a big, two-year-old tantrum! 

A helpful strategy when dealing with frustration behaviors and language difficulties is focusing on teaching core vocabulary words to your child. Rather than placing the emphasis on academic concepts (e.g., colors, shapes, numbers, letters,)  it’s important to teach our children the words they will need to effectively communicate their wants and needs, as early as possible! Examples of core vocabulary words include “more,” “done,” “up,” and “eat.” With this kind of language, your child can request to let you know if they are hungry, if they want more interaction if they want less, etc. These kinds of words are also easy to build off of to teach more language (“more tickles,” “all done,” “eat cookie”). When we arm our children with only academic concepts, their options are limited to commenting and labeling, and they are often left without a way to communicate their wants and needs.

So, how do we teach these words effectively? The technical answer is Linguistic Mapping. The simple explanation is: talk about everything you and your child are doing throughout the day! As your child experiences things, (in this example, eating,) you can provide language that matches that experience. “Eat!” “Yum”, “I like it!” “Chicken!” More!” Hearing language that matches what we are physically experiencing or doing helps our brains remember (or map) the language more efficiently than if these words are mixed in with long sentences out of context. Putting yourself back into your child’s shoes: if someone in your new language world held up two choices, an apple, and a cupcake, and said the word for each while showing you each item, your brain would pair those words with those objects. You could then more easily repeat these new and unfamiliar words to make a clear request, and get your cupcake (because we all know we’d take the cupcake!) If they ask, “What do you want, an apple or a cupcake?” you may return their question with a blank stare. We cannot use language until we understand the units that comprise it!

Behavior and language are closely tied. Though behavioral difficulties can be present for a variety of different reasons, frustration behaviors in children with language delays can often greatly reduce with specific behavior therapy and the development of functional language skills. Speech therapy and behavior therapy make a great team; you and your child will be supported from both sides of the behavior/language difficulty cycle!

Jackie Anderson, M.S. CCC-SLP

Speech-Language Pathologist

Ascend Speech Therapy, LLC

www.ascendslptherapy.com