What your child's stomachaches and headaches could really mean
Thanks for tuning in to blog number 4!
Childhood is full of new experiences each day, from the first day of school to a new meal at dinner. School is full of new people, demands, and social activities. All of these experiences together can trigger anxiety for young people. While adults typically can put a word to the feelings of worry they are experiencing, children may not know what exactly is going on. Some kiddos with anxiety may become restless and even appear angry. While other children may become quiet and experience physical symptoms when there is no medical explanation. Tons of children go to the school nurse for headaches or stomachaches every day when they are nervous about a test or there is something going on within the classroom. Others may cry or become grouchy because they are not able to put a word to what they are experiencing.
Anxiety is often caused by excessive worry over something that we cannot control. The goal is not to eliminate anxiety, but to help a child better manage what they are experiencing. Encouraging a child to tolerate what is causing their anxiety and coping with it, will only help decrease the anxiety they are experiencing over time. While avoiding stressors reinforces, on the other hand, increases the fear associated with what they are anxious about.
So what do we do when our child is experiencing anxiety? Respect! We respect the child’s feelings by listening to their fears, but we do not make them worse. Listening, being empathetic, and offering support will send the message that your child is empowered to overcome what is making them anxious. For example, if the child terrified about going to a new school, we want to validate their fears, but we do not want to foster the fear. Likewise, adults need to be observant of their body language around a child who experiences anxiety. For example, if a child has experienced a car accident and is nervous about getting in a car again, the parent may want to recognize what body language they are giving off because sometimes it can unintentionally send a message that the child should be worried. Children learn responses through modeled behavior.
Helping your child build coping skills could be key to helping them work through anxiety and worry. These simple strategies could help your child feel empowered as a self-advocate during times of stress. First, knowing healthy breathing techniques could easily de-escalate a situation. Teaching the child to write or draw it out can give them the ability to express what they are feeling without having to talk it out. Finally, it is important to work with your child to help them find a way to effectively communicate what they are experiencing because without communication it may be challenging to know how to help!
Stay tuned next week to learn more about the treatment of anxiety disorders.
-Emily Mori, MS, LGPC, NCC, CAS, ADHD-CCSP
As a strength-based therapist I believe mindfulness is the best approach to life's challenges. I help to empower clients seeking to move forward and to achieve their wellness goals.