Navigating the Winding Road of Dating with Autism
Happy Monday!
This week we are going to shift gears slightly and focus on romance and dating, as it can impact both teens and adults with ASD!
The singles’ scene can be challenging for anyone, even if you do not have autism. However, an adult with autism may have more obstacles to overcome than a typically developing peer in the dating world. While everyone’s experience with autism is unique, it can be challenging to thrive in the world of dating because of social barriers.
Meeting people is hard (even for those without ASD). The most challenging part about meeting a potential partner is striking up a conversation with a stranger. It can also be tough to know if someone is interested in you romantically or if they would prefer to be your friend. The first step to dating is knowing where to meet someone. We often encourage individuals with autism to look at their favorite activities and what they do each day to see if they encounter someone they may be interested in romantically. For many, work may be a place to form relationships, but it is often important to notice work place regulations, as many employers discourage romantic relationships at work. For those with autism that may not understand why this is usually discouraged, we explain that should the relationship not work out it can create an awkward work environment.
So what if you don’t see any dating prospects in your every day routine? It may be critical to step out of your comfort zone to meet someone new. For example, many individuals with autism greatly benefit from online dating or attending social groups! Online dating can be beneficial for individuals with autism because you can can familiarize yourself with the person before meeting them. Although there are benefits to online dating, it is important to practice caution when sharing personal information and planning to meet someone in person. It is recommended to have a trustworthy family member or friend to help decipher if the individual is using their online profile for the purpose of dating or to be deceptive.
Sometimes meeting someone individually can be too overwhelming, so participating in a social group or club can be helpful in finding someone with similar interests. Participating in groups can be less stressful because you focus more on the activity rather than the the one-on-one situation. If you are having trouble finding a specific social group, you may even enjoy an event such as trivia or karaoke at a local restaurant.
Dating can be very complex! Trying to navigate the ins and outs of romance is overwhelming. Nonetheless, next week I will be talking about what happens when you want to ask someone on a date. We will jump into detecting interests using both verbal and nonverbal cues, how to appropriately show your interest in someone, and intimacy in the ASD world. We will even touch on working through rejection.
Cheers,
Emily Mori, M.S., LGPC, NCC, CAS
Emily Mori, MS, LGPC, NCC, CAS
As a strength-based therapist I believe mindfulness is the best approach to life's challenges. I help to empower clients seeking to move forward and to achieve their wellness goals.
